I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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