and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
His hands were made for my vagina.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
