i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
