There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
