i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
