Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
