3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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