Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
