i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
