Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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