I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
