best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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