at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
