I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
