why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
