Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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