this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
