she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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