i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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