it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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