She's JV to your varsity
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
