I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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