Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
