I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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