that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think my vagina is haunted
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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