So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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