I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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