Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize