I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
