3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
