I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
