Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i love accidental penises.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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