I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
