Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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