My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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