if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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