VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
