yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
