She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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