Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
