I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
