Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
