he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
