Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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