My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
