Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
