I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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