we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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