The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
