Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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