oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
