You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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