i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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