so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
