I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
