Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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