He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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