Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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