Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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