i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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