so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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