the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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