Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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